


A moment of gratitude .

by TheShyWriter



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: AU, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Stalking, a tale of loss and human grief, more add will be appear as the story progresses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-12 23:45:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17477225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheShyWriter/pseuds/TheShyWriter
Summary: A small Christmas tale about grief and emotional pain.In this story, Loki isn't the original bad guy but someone who after Odin's death tries to find himself again in reader's face.





	1. Chapter 1

That day was different than the others.

The sun was on its highest point but not as warm or bright like the other times he had come to Midgard. No, that morning everything felt different, his stomach a tight knot, his features even paler than before.

His body stiffened on the memory, thinking of Odin’s death, the way his body disappeared on the thin air, like it was nothing, a glimpse of a God, putting an end to this ongoing war between both of them.

Of a father who wanted for him to act more like his brother – Thor – as it was a simple task and not a real horror, and of him, a God who grew up wondering why no one could love him for what he was? Except from his mother of course.

A warm feeling touched the only place everyone accused him of not having - his heart – remembering the only person on his life who used to believe in him even on the darkest of times. A real mother who taught him her tricks from a young age, trying to make him feel better for his charisma, leading him to the son she always knew he was. A man able to forgive, love, live a normal life in their palace, with a woman who could see behind his aggressive behavior, the little tricks he used to pull every time, all that lies he used to fed on himself for so many years.

“Mother, Father ... I miss you so much.” thought slightly as he rose from his chair walking around the big room, suppressing the only emotion which now choked the life of him from inside. It was grief? Could it be grief? No, he was a monster after all.

 

 

 

Days later he was in Midgard, somewhere in Greece, a place no one has visited or truly ever heard. Like a new world for him but mostly a place at which no one knew him, for the crimes he inflicted upon the residents of Germany or the lives he took when he was in this madness. So angry, sad, crazy for power and domination of every world, ready to take his throne among all these stupid, weak people who used to watch him with terror as he destroyed their houses, the city they loved.

He put his hands deeper into his pockets as he walked into the small alley, surrounded only by a few cars and some bars. It was a cold night of December, something typical based of previous conversations he had heard all these hours, lonely and cold, sad and weak despite his cold features and strong posture.

In front of him, there were a bunch of kids playing around, teasing each other in a way he and his brother never really did. Thor was always an outspoken, loud kid who wanted to exercise and fight with the soldiers back in Asgard from the first moment. So different from him, who used to hide behind heavy books and - of course - magic. Alone, into his chambers, away from the strange looks of the servants or the other soldiers who talked to him only for his title and not because they wanted to.

 

                                                                                                                          ******

 

_“_ I can’t do this, Penelope. How on earth could possibly say that to them? If it wasn’t easy back then, then what makes you feel like it is right now?” her voice seemed exaggerated, spitting almost the words through her big phone.

Loki couldn’t resist the temptation. Slowly like a panther walked behind her, step by step, admiring her posture, the way she was holding two books on one hand and the phone with a set of keys to the other. Her aura felt different than the other humans he had dealt in the past, a mix of light but also darkness. Something he couldn’t put his finger on restricted from his senses.

“ _Maybe if I follow her..._ ” a voice echoed into his mind barely realizing that he was still behind her, never leaving, every time a step closer.

“Please, stop it. Tell mother I cannot come …” she spoke again more nervous now than seconds ago. Her body changed down of heavy shoulders “Just tell them a lie. Anything….but please...” suddenly she paused in the middle of the road without even looking around for an upcoming vehicle. “ _She is crazy_.” Loki murmured under his breath ready to pull her aside. “Don’t make me do this. I can’t… I can’t see them. I will not pretend any more than everything is fine, my dear friend. He is dead. He…” Loki saw her body shaking from the pain and soon small sobs – as of a small wounded animal - reached his ears.

His stomach twitched and for seconds nausea came to his mouth. No human had ever had this kind of magnitude to him. Why her? What was so special about her? He swift his eyes upon her again, hearing an “I have work to do, Penelope. Call you later, ok?” her voice was steady again as the girl fixed her hair and wiped her probably red eyes.

 

 

They both stayed there for what felt like hours. Loki looked around him discombobulated as to what do next. The girl with the ebony hair was still there, only to the sidewalk now, probably realizing that death wouldn’t be a nice end to this night. In a way, he reminded her of himself, of a moment at which was sitting alone into his room, just laying down, thinking of his life, his mistake, everything bad he had done, trying to reconcile with the idea of being alone forever.

Only then he could feel tears in his eyes, calm enough to act as he wanted and not how he should. And he did… away from Thor and his companion, hidden from Friga who for sure could ask him what he had and then... how she would react knowing that her son had somewhat of a heart? Even she, at the last moments of her life, was disappointed by his actions, from the way he talked to servants, the nights full of sex with dirty women, spanking and tosses them around the room, making them what they were. Women disposable, creatures lower than a God like him, beings with no real purpose than taking his seed inside them, choking into his big hands … into his manhood.

As by instinct, he eyed the small girl in front of him. Now, she was standing with two other people – Loki wondered from where they had come and how he had not seen them – another boy and girl, both holding each other hands, a hint of lust into their presence. The God of Mischief hides behind a wall, not for them not to see him, one with the shadows as every day of his life.

The girl now was laughing, moving her hands up and down with every word. Her body was feminine, curvy, not like the woman he had fucked before but still nice to the eye. His body exhaled in excitement. _“How did I get here? What am I doing here?_ ” couldn’t help the thoughts from appearing his mind, forgetting for some time after months Odin’s death.

Searching for something different.

“If you want, you can come with us for Christmas. I and Nicolas we will be pleasant to have you in our house.” the taller woman said with a warm smile on her face.

The petite figure shook her head in a negative way “It would be nice but I have work to do and … you know I don’t like this time of year.” Her voice sounded tremulous into the cold air suddenly.

Nicolas who was quiet for a long time said in a low voice “We are sorry for your loss, Ariadni.” He opened his arms for her with the girl reaching him. It was obvious she wanted someone to lean on. “Thank you. It means a lot guys.” said gracefully before she made a step back.

“ _Ariadni.._.” Loki knew this name from one of the books he used to read in Asgard’s library. It was relevant with the Greek mythology. A strange light appeared on his eyes watching her again all alone, walking in big steps and singing through her nose, peaceful that no person could watch her right now. “ _Due to mythology, Ariadni meant “most holy or else a holy person” and it was inextricably linked with King Minos. A girl who fell in love with Theseus and gave him the thread of Mitus with which he escaped from the labyrinth. After he deserted her, Ariadni married Dionysus, the God of fertility, wine, and drama_. “

He let out a small chuckle wondering how it would felt to have this human under his fist or… body. For all he knew, his great desire was to have someone who will accept him, body and mind. A woman ready to see behind the evil mask and bring the lost man in the surface. It would be like the movies. Easy. A piece of cake.

“I will see you soon dear.” he whispered vanishing in the thin area.


	2. Ch 2: Choices.

The day outside was rather dark than morning, absorbing any heat from the sun and worm around them. It was true, after ten years, a snowstorm was heading to the country, leaving them all paralyzed from “fear”, exposed to cold. The majority of citizens had no money for electricity due to the crisis, or even house(s) but even if they had, it was always a constant battle as money was limited.

Choices too.

What was more important? A warm house, fresh water or food for their kids? It was always the last one. Food was the biggest problem, especially when no one wanted to share it with others. Who could blame them?

Ariadne looked outside the window, somewhere far the tree lines or the few cars which now were on the streets, feeling tired. As much as she tried to focus on her job, a simple task as to clean the dishes, her mind fall back to the time she – as many out there – had no food to put in her belly for weeks.. even months. A harsh reality, even more, when basic needs have vanished, when personal hygiene was a lie, taking weeks to have a nice bath and then it would be over in minutes. No singing, no bubbles in the water, no exotic aroma from the famous soaps TV used to advertise. Many things other people, richer than her, had for obvious, never to worry about. Always have a clean house and a stake on their plate. Logical. A normality others may never have and not because they didn’t try hard or were lazy... no … it was the chances.

Despite government saying every citizen should have a job, it never happened. Not back then. Not now. Jobs were limited and only if you had someone to ministry or if a man/woman were a whore... then she would achieve something. “ _Ugh._..” Angry. That what she was. Angry with the system and bitter for a lost life she could never recover.

Behind her, the bell upon the door rang vigorously, a sign someone had walked inside the café – restaurant. She didn’t bother to look back, cursing under her breath while doing her best to clean everything and help the stuff to arrange the new orders of food and drinks. Thanks to that, she had no time to actually think about her mother’s proposition and the consequences behind.

Around the small shop, a variety of colorful Christmas ornaments adorned the place, creating a cozy atmosphere for the families or young couples to visit and have a nice time.

For her, this time of year was the most beautiful as people tend to be more generous, peaceful, happy …laughing around, sharing Christmas presents not because they had to but as a gift for having them in their lives. Houses full of people gathered all around the table, enjoying the company of the elders who in their turn would tell stories to the younger kids who now waited restlessly for the sweet mystery behind Cinderella and her lost shoe.

Or at least, want to believe.

A lie was better than the truth. Loki waited for a moment under the door, shaking off from his shoulders the fake snow that had fallen from the Christmas garland on top of the door. The very thought of Asgard and how different Christmas was there, brought happiness to him; so different than here, more colorful with big trees decorating the huge palace while hundreds of servants would bring food and loads of wine for any God and person, in and out of the kingdom. Music and conversations laugh and occasionally angry glares from Odin were the normality for him. Nostalgia spread from his veins to his chest, knocking him out of breath, a strange thing nonetheless for him, a mischievous king no one really wanted to work with but instead, they had to do based on the rules.

Any person or – in some cases God – would try to hurt Odin’s kids, the future kings would be accountable for their actions and hereby guilty to death. No explanations. No tears or mercy for them. Yes, his father maybe wasn’t perfect; no one was but tried his best to raise both him and Thor. Of course, it wasn’t easy, not when both brothers wanted to kill each other often dense due to different perspectives on… well, everything.

Thor was always the first to contact with humans, to talk with them or even – Norns forbid – fell in love with one of them. A young scientist, a love so passionate none of them could really handle especially not when one of them had to stay on Midgard and the other in another galaxy, in his home. A home which felt like a jail back then for his older brother and dreams.

Loki’s hands twitched around his pockets, thinking of all the times he wanted to rule Asgard, have anyone like a servant, treat them less than a dirty, lifeless rag, more like a guilty pleasure for his dark magic or… simple actions. Moments for which wasn’t proud anymore. Instead, now were replaced with hate, hate for himself and how he handles himself in fronts of every person who matters to him.

_“Idiot!!! You are an idiot._ ” his voice echoed in his mind, suddenly waking him up from the state of trance he had to fall. “Stop these sentimental crap and act like the king you are.” He was trying for months now, to suppress this ugly voice, a part of him responsible for every crime he committed, a shady piece of his soul he wanted so bad to rip apart.

He grew impatiently, waiting over a minute for someone to escort him to his table, asked him what he would pleasure him, give him a moment of admiration. Or fear.

“ _This is infuriating._ ” his black leather shoes echoed on the wooden floor as he walked alone to the center of that small restaurant. “

Ariadne, we have a guess... a rather delicious guest. ” one of the waitresses said to her, stressing the last two words, eyes on him and mouth half open with desire and curiosity.

The young woman took her time before she speaks, eyes solely focused on the dirty glass of her hand, trying so hard to clean it properly. She looked for seconds her friend and the way she was bent upon the hard surface behind the bar, drooling over the hot man, her short skirt a bit higher than previous times.

Ariadne laughed a bit knowing full well her friend and how effort put every morning to find the most relieving clothes or the best shade of red lipstick, a walking desire only for the eyes of men. Silly may was but if she was happy and confident then who was she to say the opposite?

When finally was ready, she put the towel aside, upon the marble surface, able now to look over the man.

In a quick view, he seemed foreign and somehow angry. Definitely not as handsome as her friend told her – or in that particular time other women too – though. She let out a sigh, unable to understand why the female population were so obsessed with him, eyes full of lust and legs slightly open from the younger to the older women.

Wiping the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand, straightened her back while gathering her messy hair in a ponytail.

His long fingers tapped the hard surface of the table, furious no one cared to provide for him. If he was in Asgard, servants would bring the food in seconds not daring to make their king wait, same time another servant, preferably a young female, had the task to prepare the bath for him. Every person was at his mercy, depending on the mood of the day. Some days were better than others. Not so often though.

Ariadne had taken the notepad in her hand before she replied to her friend “He is not such handsome. Just a regular man.” before she decides to offer him assistance.

All around her customers were happy, talking and laughing with their children, finally having the time to sit down as a real family and share some moments of joy and a true blessing. This time of year schools was closed leaving the children free to play with their friends, visit a museum or just see their favorite programs on Netflix. Of course, things seemed different for many mothers around the globe who should prepare the Christmas dinner, have an eye on their children and carefully manage every task on the house, never having times for their selves, their hearts.

A mother should be able to only give and give without ever asking something back, whether it was for her sweet but crazy children or her husband and friend. It only mattered to be there for them, kiss them with passion, treats them as kings, feeds them the smallest part of herself, only for her to see in their eyes the appreciation, a tiny fragment of love, like the one she was giving to them.

The brunette woman felt heaviness in her heart, realizing suddenly how she missed her mother. What else could do tho? Without money in the bank, she had to work all day, terrified in the idea of being unemployed.

She smiled politely to the people around her, still echoing in her mind, the words of her boss. “ _I need happy stuff in my café –restaurant and not depressed junkies or sluts. Do your best to be polite and cheerful otherwise you will be fired_.” Simple and sweet as the first day he met him years ago, thanks to her old friend.

Loki saw the girl approaching at a steady pace but anxious. Three days now had no idea of where was the girl he had seen nights ago, when arrived in this small town, incapable to locate her in every place she had looked. After all, he hadn’t seen her fully, just tiny details bathed in the trembling light of the street lamp. For someone like him, it was unthinkable to not find a person immediately. As someone was trying to hide her from him. Anger boiled inside him only in the thought. Who would dare to do such a thing? Especially here, in a country no one from his enemy lived. No. No. Here could be alone.

“ _How would anyone want to be like you? What possible someone could love upon you? Your kind heart …. or all these secrets behind the cold smile? You are nothing more than a dirty stain on Thor’s cape_.” These were the best words he had heard from Odin, months before his death. If it was upon his rage or no, he had no idea. His father was always angry at him after all, never acknowledging the fact that what he – Loki – wanted was love. Love and someone to tell him of how proud they were for the son they have, the warrior, the great magician.

No, nothing could matter more in that palace than great Thor and the Warriors Three. His companion, friends but mostly family for him. Perhaps, even more from his younger but mischievous brother.

“Excuse me sir.” Ariadne stood there, in front of him, with the best smile she could summon in her beautiful face. Her eyes fell upon his long black hair and the shape of his shoulders under the tight suit he was wearing.

Loki raised his head slowly from the direction at which had come the female voice. So smooth... almost shy. Little he knew that she had every right to feel scared right now. “Can I move you to another table, sir? This...” her words came out with difficulty watching as his whole body tensed suddenly “this table is reserved for another mister.” Finally she said with a sincere look on her face.

His features turned once more, feeling his ego broke more and more under her polite gaze – a look nobody gave him anymore, considering his past actions.

“How can you ask such a thing, little girl?” he shouted back not being able to hold back his anger. The young woman felt uneasy moving her body slightly away from him, now fear rising in her mind. She had no idea who he was. A strange man, so different than the other citizens, so tall and strong, with a gaze which could melt your heart or … or turned your soul into flames.

Blue eyes with a deep rage inside.

She tried to stay calm thinking it was just a misunderstanding as other times in the past with different clients. It couldn’t be so hard.

Yet, it was.

His fist broke upon the table leaving a small mark on its surface. The surrounding people gasped in fear and panic not knowing what to do. Their gazes were upon her, the only visible waitress in the room, the same who had promised them an hour ago a happy day , assuring them everything would be okay and nothing would harm them.

_“Dammit._ ” She cursed herself looking around. A part of her wanted to run, another to stay and fight him?

Memories of years ago, of another decade, flood into her mind, leaving her paralyzed. The same monster who used to haunt her mind for what felt like eons, appeared in front of her, a distorted face, a monster who used to wait in the dark corners of the city – even houses – ready to lure small children, innocent and enough naïve to understand the concept between evil and good, ready to devour them in any possible way… mentally and physically under the gaze of other people, so bored to watch when a sick , twisted man would finally catch their angels in his trap .

Mentally deranged, incapable of love, untrustworthy, immersed in their sick mentality but most importantly twisted view of what love really meant, spitting lies for them to cover any truth.

“Do you know who I am??” Loki’s displease erupted like a volcano in the small restaurant, frightening even more the fragile girl, never thinking for a second of how wrong it was.

Her eyes opened wide in terror as back then while her body curled as much it could in a small ball if it was for his hands to hold her up and in some distance. Either that or she would collapse.

Anyone who saw them felt sick in their stomachs. A man using his power upon a young woman pale like a ghost right now.

His hands that were now wrapped around her arms caused her nausea, nails digging through her flesh, screaming for her to run, run away from this man. How could she though? It was impossible.

Behind his cold face, Loki’s mind runs to all the times his older brother – Thor – had anything he wanted ready on his hand before he would ask for it. Everyone used to admire him only for his wins on the wars and the brutal strength. Odin was always more proud of him, even affectionate in his way, something which never happened when Loki was in front. Thor was the one to be first at political meetings, celebrations, dinners, negotiations when his presence – on the hand – appeared only in need.

How many nights had he lied down on his bed after sleeping with a woman only for him to find not much later that Thor was a better lover. Better son, better warrior, everything was perfect upon him. The loud noises which had appeared an hour ago, now were gone and replaced from a deadly silent, stopping whatever they doing. Kids were looking around them scared as many women now trying to murmur in their husbands that they should do something in order to stop this man. Not that they were bravest than the women next to them. What if this man was dangerous? What if he was a killer or just a psychopath? News all over the world was thriving from reports of violence.

After moments of extreme tension a small group of three or four – she couldn’t really tell as her back was on them – young boys, around 17teen , walked over Loki with a smirk on their faces, believing even for a second that they – THEY – could be a match to a God.

Loki eyed the young men with the corner of his eye never leaving the girl from his strong hand, saying in a calm but threating voice “Do not dare !!” a growl so powerful making the girl in front of him to freeze in her position more. He was able to feel his darker self, the one who wanted to dominate, to cause pain, coming to the surface as another blast of dangerous emotion. Pain. A pain he had no cure for entangled with dreams of salvation, emotions forbidden even for someone like him.

“ _Kill them._ ” his inner voice whispered inside him as one of his hands trailed on his suit and most specifically to the right pocket in which had his knife. If they were to fight, then they would have it.

 

 

A male figure crossed the room like a bolt before things get out of hand causing anyone to hold back at his presence. His blue eyes were in fire seeing Loki touching his friend, anger boiling under his sweet face.

The prince of Asgard felt back with enough force after a huge blow hit him right in the stomach leaving the girl to her savior. Everything had happened quickly. Could a mortal hit him that hard? Tiny droplets of blood stained his perfect reddish tie.

“Are you okay?” the new man asked the frightened girl, both hands cupping her face. He tried to shook her but the young girl was so lost into her abyss that she didn’t even flinch at his touch.

Loki behind them could hear the agony of the male voice. It was obvious he was trying to wake her up in any way, her nails deep into his arms as if she was her life depending on him. The unknown man talked to her in a calming tone, caressing gently her back with circling motions, smoothing her as a mother would hug her beloved child after a horrific nightmare.

Slowly but oh so carefully, the strong man lifts her on his hug and under many eyes lead her outside of this place. Not soon after another waitress came front and apologized for what happened minutes ago with blushing face. Despite the rise of the voices she was able to talk again, saying to everyone that the danger was gone now and they could all continue with their meals. Oh ..and of course there will be loads of free wine to erase their memories. That was undeniable.

 

 

Five minutes later she was feeling better, the color on her cheeks a bright pink certainly better than before. For the time being her body was heavy as a stone whilst her mind was working hard to expel those dark memories which have found ineluctably its way on her mind.

Her friend was there as always as always from when she was a clumsy, shy small kid with no one in world. In the thought and only the small girl felt butterflies on her stomach not because of love but mostly from sheer admiration of this incredible, strong man. Someone who hurt her in the past – although it was justified in his mind – but at the end show her things never had the courage to dream of. Emotions which felt like a lie to her.

Ariadne opened her mouth to speak but soon closed it again. The man next to her whisper slowly “You frightened me back there.” His hands touched her fingers eager for some closure, a movement that hadn’t gone unnoticed from her. She squeezed his hands with enough strength, leaning her head on the crook of his shoulders.

She was feeling secure again, out there with him, breathing the cold air, eyes always looking toward at the street and the few cars. “Thank you for being here,” she said deeper into his hug now, inhaling his scent emerging from his shirt, a delightful note in her wretched day. Tomorrow she would be fired anyway.

 

Loki realizing late who that girl was felt a sharp pain of jealousy deep inside his heart. It wasn’t only what he had done moments ago, an action he was sure Ariadne would never forgive of him but mostly the view of her with that man, holding each other like a happy couple.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank all of you who read my story. I am still a bit anxious to write here as my English is not so good but I would appreciate any constructive criticism. Have a nice Sunday!!


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